The Bugspray Café
by Sarcasm 397
Summary: The Bugspray Café was the Smasher's favorite hangout-until Ganondorf decides to build his own deli across the street. Humor and some romance enclosed.
1. Chapter 1

Minna-san konnichi wa! A new Smash Bros. fanfic! For all of you who are reading this because you like my other Smash Bros. fic, thanks! For all of you who haven't read my other Smash Bros. fic, read it too!  
  
Obligatory but undesired disclaimer (OBUD): I won't say it! You can't make me! *sees Nintendo lawyers holding baseball bats* Ok! I don't own Smash Bros.  
  
Bugspray Café Chapter 1  
  
The day was dark and dreary. But who cares about minor details like that. Mr. Game & Watch glanced over the counter. "Customers!" he yelled to the back room as Zelda and Peach entered.  
  
They took a table as Kirby rushed out to serve the customers. "Hi Kirby!" Zelda said happily. "How's it going?"  
  
Kirby smiled. "Not bad," he replied. "How're you princesses doing?"  
  
Peach grinned. "Can't complain," she answered. Kirby handed each of them a menu and zoomed to the kitchen, where he resumed his task of flipping pancakes.  
  
In the kitchen, there was usually 3 workers: Kirby, Jigglypuff and Pikachu. Occasionally, Pichu or Young Link would pop in to help, but today it was just Kirby, Jigglypuff and Pikachu. Each of them was doing the same things they always do: Kirby, with the pancakes; Jigglypuff, with the hamburgers; and Pikachu, with the pizza. Nobody did the bacon but Mr. Game & Watch, because he owned the café and bacon was his specialty.  
  
"Hey Kirby!" Jigglypuff yelled. "Heads up!" A hamburger flipped through the air and landed right next to Kirby's special pancakes.  
  
"Hey!" Kirby replied. "Watch where you're flipping that! It nearly contaminated my pancakes!"  
  
Pikachu chuckled and continued with his pizza. "Kirby and his pancakes," he thought to himself.  
  
Meanwhile, a freezing Link and Roy entered the café. Zelda spotted her friend and greeted him warmly. "Link!" she called. "Over here!" She and Peach scooted over so Link and Roy could join them. Roy hesitated, but sat down on the other side of Peach.  
  
Link smiled at the princesses. "What's up?"  
  
Zelda smirked. "Oh, I can tell you plenty of things that are up, such as the sky, the ceiling, that fly, the storm clouds, the rain..."  
  
"Ok! I get it!" Link said aggravated.  
  
Roy yawned. "I'm tired," he said, stretching.  
  
Link snorted. "Well, maybe you wouldn't be so tired if you actually managed to get to bed on time! You are the laziest roommate I've ever had!"  
  
Roy sighed. "Guess what," he said to Peach.  
  
"It's Christmas," Peach guessed.  
  
Roy glared at her. "No..."  
  
Peach contemplated for a moment. "You're the Easter bunny."  
  
Roy continued to glare. "Guess again, Princess."  
  
Peach considered her options. "Mario is going to give me a gigantic birthday party!"  
  
Roy glared at her some more. "No."  
  
Peach sighed. "Ok, I give up."  
  
Roy was still glaring at her. "It's raining."  
  
Peach groaned. "Gee, ya THINK?"  
  
Link acted shocked. "Roy thinks? But in order to do that, he would need a brain!"  
  
Kirby laughed. "Are you guys ready to order yet?"  
  
Zelda blinked. "Oh, hey Kirby! Uhm... are we ready to order?"  
  
Link waved his hand. "Oh, c'mon Kirby, you know what I'd order anyway, so just write that down!"  
  
Kirby smiled. "One pancake-bacon-pizza coming up!"  
  
Peach was confused. "Pancake-bacon-pizza? What the heck is that?"  
  
Zelda sighed dreamily. "A delicious gargantuan pizza topped with syrup and bacon. It's the best."  
  
Kirby grinned. "So I take it that's what you're ordering too, Zelda?"  
  
Zelda nodded happily. "Yup!"  
  
Kirby wrote down Zelda's order, then said to Peach and Roy, "What'll it be for you two?"  
  
Peach sighed. "Just pancakes for me," she replied. "I'm afraid I don't have those Hylian stomachs."  
  
Roy looked slightly disgusted. "Neither do I," he groaned. "I'll just have bacon."  
  
Kirby waved his notepad around. "Anything else?"  
  
Link grinned. "Orange juice!"  
  
Zelda smiled. "Of course! Orange juice for healthy... uh... what was it again?" She glanced at Link uncertainly, who merely shrugged. "Oh well. Four glasses of orange juice."  
  
Roy smiled evilly. "And sugar! Lots and lots and lots of sugar!"  
  
Kirby rolled his eyes. "Whatever..." he said as he zoomed back to the kitchen.  
  
As they all ate in silence, Zelda and Roy were glaring at each other. Link decided something was up and was determined to figure it out.  
  
To be continued...  
  
There, that should hold me for a while from GCFOCT... 


	2. Chapter 2

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep... je suis stupide et mechant. Just whap me now and get it over with. Sorry for the long, long, long, long wait.  
  
Oh and I've slightly changed the plot... as if it had a plot in the first place... but now it does. This will be slightly AU, so don't tell me I didn't warn you. But basically now, all of 'em are college students at SSBM University. (Except them younger 'uns.)  
  
OBUD: *sniff* Nope. Don't own 'em. Never will.  
  
The Bugspray Café Chapter 2  
  
Roy finished his bacon and raced out of the café as fast as he could. Peach blinked. "What's wrong with him?" she inquired.  
  
Zelda merely crossed her arms and said "Hmph."  
  
Link sighed. "Ok, Zelda, did something happen between you and Roy?"  
  
Zelda didn't reply. One minute passed... then two... then ten... then one hundred twenty-five... (2 hours 18 minutes total) and still no response from Zelda. Peach had fallen asleep. Link, however, was staring at Zelda mercilessly. Zelda was looking out the window at the drizzling rain. One by one, other Smashers drifted in and ate breakfast. Zelda broke out of her trance-like state when Marth walked in, dripping and freezing.  
  
"Hey Zelda! Hey Peach! Hey Link! Mind if I sit here?" he asked, indicating the vacant spot next to Peach. "What's up?"  
  
Zelda grinned slyly. "Are you sure you want to know?"  
  
Marth gulped. "Uh... no. Wrong question." He quickly changed the subject. "So, Link, how are the boxing lessons coming along?"  
  
Zelda snickered.  
  
-----Flashback-----  
  
"Ok, Link, I'm going to send you to boxing lessons!" Zelda announced one day.  
  
"Yay!" Link cried joyously. "I get to learn more fighting skills!"  
  
Later that day...  
  
"Have fun at your boxing lessons Link!" Zelda declared as Link exited the vehicle.  
  
"But Zelda..." Link sputtered, staring at the building in front of him. "This is the cardboard box factory!"  
  
Zelda just smiled and drove off.  
  
-----End Flashback-----  
  
Link grumbled. "Just fine," he said sarcastically. He looked outside at the pouring rain and groaned. "Oh great. I promised Aryll I'd come home and help her clean the house today."  
  
Marth sighed. "Why not have the young you do it?"  
  
Zelda grinned. "Because she wanted her big big brother to do it, that's why."  
  
"Since she found out all I am is the older Link, she's been making me do all the high places." Link grumbled. "But still, I am her big brother. I must fulfill my promise to my younger sister. Marth, will you help me get home?"  
  
Marth, however, was poking Peach. "Hey, Princess, wake up. You're the only one with an umbrella here. Wake up."  
  
Peach slowly woke up, perhaps from Marth poking her, or perhaps from Zelda whapping her on the head. "Geez, Zelda, whadja do that for?"  
  
Zelda snorted. "You were snoring. Anyhoo, it's about time for studying... and for Link to help Aryll with her cleaning... and for Marth to go back into the kitchen and make some of those delicious cookies he always makes."  
  
Everyone groaned. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." they said in unison.  
  
"No complaining!" Zelda griped, glaring at them. Casually, she looked out the window and groaned. "Kirby! I need help!"  
  
Kirby zoomed out of the back. "What's the matter, Princess?"  
  
"Would you mind sucking up all this rain so we can get home dry?" Zelda pleaded.  
  
Peach smiled. "Of course! That's a brilliant idea, Zelda!"  
  
"Why didn't I think of it!" Marth exclaimed.  
  
Kirby, however, was a little reluctant. "I dunno, Zelda... I did just eat... and I am rather full..." He thought for a while more. "I guess I am a little thirsty."  
  
"YEAH!" everyone cheered. "Hooray for Kirby, the rain-stopper!"  
  
"Thank you, thank you. You're too kind." Kirby said sarcastically. (He looked something like this: (--)) He stepped outside, breathed deeply and inhaled all the rain. He then held up a sign stating: "You may want to run home... it's still coming."  
  
Zelda, Marth, Peach and Link ran back to the dorm as quickly as they could, then split ways to their separate rooms. When safely in their room, Peach glared at Zelda. "Ok, Zelda, what's up between you and Roy?"  
  
Zelda sighed. "Not this again..."  
  
"Oh, c'mon, we all want to know." Samus said, smirking as she walked up behind Zelda.  
  
"Geez, Samus, would you give some sort of warning before sneaking up on me like that?" Zelda practically screamed at her other roommate.  
  
"Maybe..." Samus replied slyly. "I could fire my ultra-secret weapon at you... Anyhoo, at least tell us. We won't tell anyone."  
  
Zelda groaned. "Basically, a couple days ago, Roy asked me out and I turned him down. Ok?"  
  
"That can't exactly explain why you two were glaring daggers at each other, now does it." Peach replied, a little cocky.  
  
"Yeah, Zelda, tell us the truth." Samus chimed in.  
  
"That was the truth. And by the way, Samus, what is this ultra-secret weapon of yours that you keep talking about?" Zelda complained.  
  
Samus grinned. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret."  
  
--to be continued—  
  
Comments? Questions? Complaints? 


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